Why Does Holding On Hurt Us More Than Letting Go?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re holding on to something that just isn’t working? Maybe it’s a relationship that’s more draining than fulfilling, where the other person just isn’t matching your energy, or worse, they’re doing things that hurt you. But instead of letting go, you keep pushing, trying to make it work, believing that if you just try a little harder, things will change. Or perhaps it’s a job that’s leaving you unhappy, feeling stuck, and unmotivated. You keep showing up, day after day, forcing yourself to stay because you’re afraid of what might happen if you quit. What if the next job is worse? What if you can’t find anything else? So, you stay, forcing the outcome you want, even though deep down, you know it’s not what you need. As humans, we have this natural tendency to try and force outcomes, even when every sign is pointing us in the opposite direction. It’s like we’re scared to let go, scared to face the uncertainty that comes with not knowing what’s next. The idea of things not working out can feel terrifying, so we cling to the hope that, with enough effort, we can make things go our way. But here’s the thing: forcing outcomes rarely brings us the happiness or fulfillment we’re seeking. Instead, it often leads to more frustration and pain. When we try to control everything, we’re not allowing life to unfold in its natural way. We’re missing out on the opportunities that might be waiting for us if we just let go and trusted that something better is out there. It’s not easy to loosen our grip and allow things to be what they are. It takes a lot of courage to step back and say, “This isn’t working, and that’s okay.” But when we do, we open ourselves up to new possibilities, ones that might be even better than what we were trying so hard to force. So, the next time you find yourself trying to force an outcome, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself if this is truly what you want, or if you’re just afraid of what might happen if you let go. Because sometimes, the best things come to us when we stop trying to make them happen.